I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
