i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
