My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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