home. puking in laundry basket.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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