Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
