Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
