My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
