Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's official drugs can't kill me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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