You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
This is the high leading the old right now
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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