Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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