Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
