I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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