in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
