I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Randomize
