I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
