i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
