Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
