i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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