butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
