I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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