he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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