she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
