i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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