May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
