I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
