Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
