i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
