RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
