I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
