a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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