"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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