I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
