After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
