Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yo dont text me then not text me
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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