Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
