the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I am never drinking with the goths again.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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