C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
