why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
