xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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