Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
