i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
