Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
