absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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