Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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