So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
