I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
