Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
