If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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