sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
he fucked my hip out of place.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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