i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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