fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
