Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
