After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
